The following is a guest Bag of Jerky relayed to the authors by someone we’ll call “Brother.”

Brother, who works in a New York City skyscraper, arrived at the office building and boarded the elevator with several other people to begin his ascent to the company floor.  Just as the doors were closing, some AC (ass-cracker) flung his arm between the elevator doors because he couldn’t wait for one of the other 11 elevators to take him up.  The ass-cracker then pressed the button for floor #6.  When the elevator stopped at floor #5, everyone, INCLUDING the ass-cracker, yet excepting Brother, exited the elevator.  So then Brother had to wait as the elevator stopped for NO ONE at the 6th floor aaaannndd to top it off, Brother couldn’t even complain about the ass-cracker to anyone else because he was the only one left in the elevator.  What a Bag of Jerky.