Updates from January, 2012 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • Bag of Jerky 9:32 am on January 27, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: bar, , worn out its welcome   

    The advertisement below is in the bathroom at nearly every bar in Hoboken.  It has been scaring the (literal) piss out of me since last summer.  The event it’s advertising has been over for close to four months.  TAKE IT DOWNNNNN.  I would like to resume sleeping at night.  ~CQH

     

    Frightening.

     

     

     
  • Bag of Jerky 10:45 pm on January 23, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: cheaters, , snowballs   

    Below is a photo of your co-Bags of Jerk circa 1990.  It appears to have been taken during the first snow of the season.  Incapable of making our own snowballs, we located the nearest chunks of snow (probably something that fell from the roof) and posed with said chunks as if we made these massive “snowballs” ourselves.  We didn’t even attempt to round them out before snapping the photo.  We weren’t fooling anybody. ~AKH

     

     
  • Bag of Jerky 4:19 pm on January 20, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: elderly, word doc, , zoom   

    I can always tell when someone over the age of 35 was last to edit a Word Document at work because when I open the file, it has been zoomed to a 156% magnification. ~AKH

     
  • Bag of Jerky 9:23 am on January 19, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: idiots, realty, renting   

    Realtors: 

    When you write descriptions for your listings, try to lay off the exclamation points and asterisks.  I’m trying to rent a one bedroom, not a circus. ~CQH

     
  • Bag of Jerky 12:19 pm on January 18, 2012 Permalink | Reply  

    During the holiday season, I found myself consuming multiple holiday-themed candies.  Though delicious, I found the Russell Stover holiday chocolates severely lacking in the design department.  Here are a couple of examples.  I apologize in advance for the shoddy image quality. ~AKH

    Example #1: Coconut wreath or dog turd? I'll let you decide, but I'm pretty sure wreaths are supposed to have holes in the middle.

    Example # 2: This one is even worse than the supposed "wreath." Granted, the "santa" got crushed in transport, but even if it hadn't, that in no way resembles Santa Claus. I think I have the candy oriented correctly, though I can't be sure. Imagine if there was no helpful indication of what the candy was supposed to resemble. Would Santa come to mind? I think not my friends. I think not.

     
  • Bag of Jerky 6:16 pm on January 16, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: DelMarVa, shops   

    I was under the impression that Maryland was a northern state.  Apparently, the part of Maryland on the DelMarVa Peninsula is as deep south as Alabama.  I was there for work last week and was shocked to hear southern accents abound.  There was also this:

    In this instance, a picture really is worth a thousand words.

     

    ~AKH

     
    • David 9:25 pm on January 16, 2012 Permalink | Reply

      Yep. Maryland is south of the Mason/Dixon line

      • Bag of Jerky 10:05 am on January 17, 2012 Permalink | Reply

        This is true, but the culture of the part of Maryland near DC would suggest otherwise. Before last week, I really had no reason to even consider the rest of the state. Now I know.

        • David 12:43 pm on January 18, 2012 Permalink

          Western Maryland is a whole ‘nother place too…

  • Bag of Jerky 11:17 am on January 11, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: cheese dust, cheez-it, life lessons   

    There are times when life reminds me why people don’t do certain things in public.  Like just now, when I felt the need to consume the last bit of salty, cheesy dust from  the caverns of my Cheez-Its bag and discovered that tilting one’s head back whilst turning the bag upside down will only result in a face full of cheese dust.  Life lessons like that are best learned in private. ~AKH

     
  • Bag of Jerky 9:40 am on January 3, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , life's conundrums,   

    Can someone please explain to me why garbage cans are so expensive?!  To get a can that’s a decent size and won’t allow odors to permeate the kitchen, one has to drop approximately 200 bones.  I find it ludicrous that garbage can manufacturers actually expect people to pay that much for a receptacle that is going to hold the likes of rotten meat, baby poop, and greasy pizza boxes (and no, greasy pizza boxes are not recyclable).  ~AKH

     
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